Sunday, May 29, 2011

Correctional Facility

1. An institution used for the betterment of something.
2. Jail

Ah, the time-honored, dramatically introduced , tirelessly overused euphemism "Correctional Facility". This euphemism is commonly used by women who are too ashamed to admit that their offspring has committed a crime/felony, and don't want to face the heat. We all know what it means, but do we ever look into the cracked emotions behind  it? A juror, passively referring to the place of imprisonment as someplace where they can be stripped of their crime ridden ways.  A woman at a book club meeting, not caring to admit that someone they know is in the slammer. A biographical author, trying to better the life of a person once locked in a prison cell.  The bittersweet intentions of this euphemism have long been a low-ranking topic in any person's constantly stirring minds. We all know the meaning, but do we truly understand it? Correctional Facility. Correction. Does it seem like correction to you when a man is sentenced to death? I think not.

P.S. This has nothing to do with my opinions on the death sentence. I merely wish to point out the falsity of this euphemism. I try never to reveal opinions on this blog unless I have a very definite opinion. Thanks, guys!

Poll Results!
1 HP7 Part 2-- 50%
2 Hangover 2-- 37%
3 Thor-- 12%
4 Other-- 0%
Conclusion: We should all get together and see HP7! who's in?

Friday, May 27, 2011


1. To acquire a royal throne; to sit on said throne
2. Hanging out in the bathroom stall a little longer than is necessary (and often with a handheld communication device) simply because you've finally found a little peace and quiet.

Okay girls, this one's for you. You know when you're kind of bored of talking to someone (or thing) and you go to the bathroom, and then you start texting, and eventually you end up playing a game on your phone or in a deep conversation? Yeah, yeah I know you do it too. Don't even try to pull that with me. Oh yeah and guys, this is why we take so long half the time. Don't worry though, some times we legitimately need to go. Ha. Anyways, now you know how to say it. It's actually a pretty useful accusation, so use it as much as you want... you're welcome. And I know you love the adorable picture, right? I feel weird getting pictures like this off the internet, but what the hell, you know? Happy Friday! (make sure to be underage and drive magical anti-wind convertibles, and congregate in random parking lots with a bunch of 13 year olds). Love ya, faithful dinosaurs!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Something to do on Thursdays! (you're welcome)

Okay. It's Thursday, which means the euphemisms shall be put on hold. I will now attempt to concoct for you something worth while to read, now that school is out and you need something to do. From now on, every Thursday shall be dubbed the day in which you can force upon me any wonderful request for me you have, along with me abandoning my usual euphemisms and taking to a more traditional blog form. Life blogs. Blogs where I whine and complain about how I'm really depressed and my life sucks and how I hate people (not naming names) and how I'm in middle school. No.

Since we got out of school today, I want to talk about how great summer is. But that would be boring, so scrub that last sentence and let me start over. Today was eventful. Apart from me being sad about all my wonderful classmates that are leaving Greenhill (Ben, Ashley, Harrison: We <3 you guys on this blog! come anytime!), my friends are all concerned with some issues that are not to be mentioned. I'm going to a beautiful burn tonight, where I will proceed to burn various homeworks I do not wish to be associated with any longer. How did your guys' last day go? Leave a comment!

Thursday Shout-Outs!: 
Ben, Ashley, Harrison (BYE!!! I'm getting tears...)
Rekha (hold on in there girl, thanks for playing Jenga with me <3)
Eric (thanks for being my cash buddy! I couldn't bear to stop playing)
Mrs. Romanovsky (thanks for talking to us while playing Jenga!)
Anurag (Thanks for Inception, it made the day worth while!)
Everyone I didn't say goodbye to: <3 you! H.A.G.S and DFTBA!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Cloning the Mammoth

1. Attempting to replicate a mammoth through DNA manipulation
2. An action that, though technically plausible, is inadvisable for ethical reasons. 

Strange, no? Let me explain this in more 13-year-old terms for you. You see, cloning a mammoth is possible (if not for the animal being extinct, but we will overlook this for the time being until you finish reading this paragraph and I can explain it to you). Okay, now that you have a mammoth in your brain, take said mammoth and multiply it. Multiply it until there are as many mammoths as there are squirrels. Now imagine these squirrel-mammoths. Would this be good? no.

That is precisely why this allusive euphemism was created. This year, a group of scientists tried to resurrect a woolly mammoth. This was proven to work after they cloned a mouse that had been in deep freeze for 16  years. So in January, Akuri Iritani of Japan's Kyoto University said he could do so by 2016. However, many people were all up in his grill, so I don't know if he'll continue. I like Jurassic Park, so... I would like some mammoths please Mr. Iritani? Thanks, man! 

P.S. Happy End of the Year, H.A.G.S. and DFTBA!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Euphemisms: An Introduction

Euphemism: [yoo-fuh-miz-uhm] -noun 
1. the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be harsh, offensive, or blunt.
2. the expression so substituted: To "pass away" is a euphemism for "die"

Euphemisms: They are what propels the human interaction. They're not only a way to avoid conversations about sex, drugs and drinking. They're a way to paint with words. An opportunity to make things that aren't normally considered beautiful to be so. Let's look into the euphemism of the day: "pass away". To pass away is one of the most common and overused euphemisms in the English speaking world. Instead of someone simply dying, they're passing. Passing what exactly? Well technically, passing references the passing between our earth and that person's version of Christianity's heaven. But for me, "to pass" refers to the passage that occurs between that person and the next generation when they die. Passing their life's wishes, their legacy, their "baton" so to speak. That'll give you something to think about. 

As far as this blog goes, I will try to update as often as I can. I can't guarantee a continual stream, but I can say you will see a lot of me. As for structure, I will continue to talk about a euphemism a day. Tell me if there are any ways to improve and continue the discussions in the comments! Love you imaginary followers!!!! Tomorrow I'll put more comedy in it.